Category Archives: Musings

The Unbearable Lightness of Being Insignificant

Ever since I embarked on the WordPress journey in earnest, I had vowed to maintain a blog that exudes positivity and grace. I catered to what the Internet desired, namely, servings of impeccably crafted words garnished with glossy, curated photography. SoMuchToTellYou was thus underpinned by this very premise, a premise which I am about to turn on its head with what I intend to share. I’m not a deceitful person by nature (can never put on an act to save myself), and yet it would be terribly deceitful of me to say that I am impervious to the darker recesses of a runaway mind.

The truth is, my mind is constantly struggling with the unbearable lightness of insignificance. After all, isn’t every step in life a desire to be felt just a little more?

Remember when our pliable minds of youth were fed with many untruths, chief amongst them being that the world is our oyster, and that we ought to dream big and live bigger? Well, I was forever an easy target for such propaganda.

Armed with such grandiose and quixotic instincts, I blindly charged forth in life feeling I could change the world. There would have been a time, long ago, when I wanted nothing more than to exert my influence, make my mark and repay the society that played its part in raising and nurturing me.

Needless to say that I have achieved very little of my once lofty ambitions. I can’t change the world. I can barely bring about change in myself…

At the end of the day, this is the real reason for blogging. It provides a ready outlet for my garbled streams of consciousness, and has made me feel – if only momentarily – expressive and significant again. Who would have thought that the very soul whom has apparently renounced all conventional forms of social currency should thus crave for attention, for validation, and for meaning?

So here I am, back to my inner sanctuary. Writing. Although who will read, I do not know.

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Dear Reader, I will be MIA for several weeks as I roam distant lands in search of Meaning. I shall miss you all!

Jolene

Spreading the Love – Liebster Award & Blogger Recognition Award

The blogosphere is a tight-knit community; this much I have learnt over the past few months. There is something warm and fuzzy about being appreciated and remembered, especially from friends afar whom I have never met. So, it shall be my absolute pleasure and great honour to accept my first awards, and I do wish to take some time to thank my fellow bloggers. (True to my “Queen of Efficiency” namesake which I am known for in real life, I have decided to consolidate the awards into one post, so please bear with me if the mash-up becomes no more than garbled thoughts.)

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There’s No Place for Regret in Heaven

The ability of Chinese entrepreneur Jack Ma (founder of e-commerce giant Alibaba) to make headlines around the world is no longer news. Just as the world extols his latest act of kindness – a USD20 million donation to the University of Newcastle as a tribute to his Australian “father” and mentor – it brought to mind a story even closer to home, a story I have been meaning to share.

Almost a month ago today, as Sydney woke up to a toasty mid-summer morning brimming with hopes of a new year, I woke up to the chill of my own consciousness. A man known locally as Sydney’s Shoeshine Brian has died in his sleep. In the grand of scheme of things, the event itself was uneventful (albeit tragic). Sydney Morning Herald dedicated its front page, but its ripple effect was confined to those who remembered him, as the article was soon buried by other worldly news of the day. News of his passing nonetheless sent shockwaves through me, for reasons or sentiments which were not immediately obvious, even to myself that day.

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The Lunar New Year Recycling Project

28 January 2017 marked the first day of the Lunar New Year. As many families heralded the Year of the Rooster with bountiful feasts, I tucked into a feast of a different kind (and granted a few of my poultry friends a well-deserved reprieve). With the new year came the decision to give a fresh lease of life to those lacklustre household items; and the great recycling project began…

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Going Rogue & Chasing Shadows

I stalk a number of weird and wonderful bloggers out there, quite shamelessly I might add. Whilst their blogs provide endless hours of laugh-out-loud entertainment value, it does make me wallow in self-pity at my own clinical, sanitised and generally abysmal attempt at entertainment, and I wonder what the heck those kindly folks could possibly see in me.

So today I am going rogue, all in the pursuit of some dark, cool, funky ambience which might not be readily identifiable as my style. That is because – wait for it – I’m a closet karaoke singer… Luxuriating in delusions of grandeur, I spent my first twenty years prowling the night scene and prancing around in drunken dens. Recently I returned to where it all started, chasing nothing but the shadows of my dreams.

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Mice that Roar – Holding Our Own in an Extrovert’s World

Have you ever read a book that spoke right to your heart, just when you needed to hear it most? Have you ever wanted to scream and shout in excitement that surely it must have been written to you?

For me, Quiet by Susan Cain is one such book.

In a world where the only constant is change, the self-help industry has thrived on our anxieties, fears and insecurities, backed by a plethora of books advocating change. With titles such as How to Win Friends and Influence People; Awaken the Giant Within or The Success Principles: How to Get from Where You Are to Where You Want to Be, it is no wonder that we are constantly questioning whether we are ever good enough. It is refreshing, then, to chance upon a book that teaches us to appreciate the value of just…being ourselves.

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